she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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