wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
