I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
