I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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