sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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