South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
