Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
