This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize