and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize