I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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