hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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