k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
