Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
