he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
