in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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