Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
