i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
