Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
