I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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