They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
