If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Randomize
