I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
