suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
