I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
