hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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