just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
