He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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