Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
