Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize