ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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