Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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