I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
