I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
