And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
