therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
