Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize