My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
