Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Randomize
