oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
