I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
