I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My liver just broke up with me...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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