what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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