We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize