So drunk its hurt
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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