taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just googled if crying burns calories
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
