I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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