My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
