if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
