I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You smell like stripper and shame
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
