hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
