I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize