I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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