I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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