the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
