They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Everyone says I win the strip club
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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