I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
