Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
