i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
