THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
