well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
