the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Randomize
