People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
