KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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