that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My pussy is not your playground.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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