God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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