I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
