Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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