I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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