how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
